i type words, and then delete them. thoughts have been circling my head for days, clouding my judgement; making my life a blur. the words i type never seem to come out right, but they need to come out because i cannot continue on like this.
i constantly feel like something is not right. don't get me wrong, nothing is wrong, but it just doesn't seem right. my emotions are running rampant. i feel worried, then i feel alright as i just forget and then back to worry. sometimes sadness is thrown in to spice things up.
the thoughts that circle my head are ones about friendships. i have had many over my short existance. but the thought of one friendship has been bothering me as of late. the friendship is stretched, but i don't know why. i guess it can be simply put down as us growing apart. but as i grasp at rebuilding (or even hanging onto what we have left), i feel like i'm grabbing nothing. but what bothers me more are the actions my friend took a few months ago. what i see now as almost vindictive makes me wonder what i did to deserve such a thing. it hurts the more i think about it... perhaps i should be careful of who i call a 'friend'.
as i grasp at this 'friendship', i don't look for friendship, but rather closure on what i did to deserve such treatment.
2 comments:
great fun yesterday shopping and hangout with you trashbag
xoxo
Hi,
I just wanted to leave a comment telling you, don't worry, you are not alone. I have and am still going through countless times when i have felt a sense of deep confusion on why i have been treated a certain way as it hurts to be rejected. It is actually not the friend we care about in the ultimate but our sense of hurt at being treated in a certain way. I hope u r feeling better now
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