interview/bazaar/fashion...thank god its over

so, i had my interview today. glad its over. but i think i nailed it. answered each question with enough detail and backed each one up with an example.

oh well i find out next wednesday.

hope all goes well.

spent the arvo with dean running around town trying to find odds and ends for the house. was a good way to unwind from the stressful morning. thanks.

went to some fashion/hair/drinking thing at some place. it was good. free alcohol = happy me.

chicken'n'chalks

roasted two chickens for imma, dean, joseph and liam tonight. roasted lemon chicken - my variation of honey duck. basil, ginger, lemon, and a lemon-honey glaze. i steamed a truck load of veggies for imma. joseph brought home krispy kremes for desert. it was great. chicken and donuts, such a simple pleasure.

oh. i handed in a job application on monday, and now i have an interview on tuesday. yay. my first fret was over what to wear. now that is sorted i'm stressing over what to say in the interview. i went through a practice interview with imma and dean just then. was interesting. its funny how practice interviews are more nerve-racking for me and i can never seem to form good sentences, but when it comes to the real interview i just seem to make sentences flow. must be the adrenaline.

the next few weeks are going to be intense. interviews. social activities. annual leave. rotation within the department. its going to be interesting.

oh caught up with freddy and simon today. lovely. absolutely lovely. i didn't talk much. but thats me lately. i just don't have the energy to say anything. i just love being around people and just observing and listening. its my dad in me. he never liked to be the centre of attention. who knows. next month i'll probably be back to my loud non-stop talking self. i never know what direction my life is going. its like i have imma behind the wheel - the WORST sense of direction ever. god i love her.

alone

its spring...and its fucking freezing.

i feel so alone. i'm not though. but i am.

i feel empty.

i feel numb.

i'm tired of the emotional rollercoaster that is my life. one day happy, the next sad, then frustrated, then happy, then scattered, then ecstatic at onesix, then REALLY scattered.

meh. claudia said once summer comes around, i'll feel better.

i've forgotten how to meet new people. 6 months ago i was chatty, social and easy-going. i was really sad. back then meeting new people was my coping mechanism. it kept me going, like a little injection of morphine to dull the pain. i met some great people. now, i'm happy and comfortable. i've recovered and have no idea how to meet new people. i feel awkward around people i don't know. i have no motivation to make small talk or start interesting coversations. even amongst friends, i don't really feel like talking. like i said, i feel numb. i think its the months of partying catching up with me.

i think i should change. i can see where this road will take me. i'll end up alone. no friends, no family, no love - no fun.

i really hope claudia is right.

oh my...

bloody woman...

okay day today. woke up early to do beam check. My colleague rang in sick which meant we were going to be understaffed for the whole day. Not so bad. Patients were really weird today. It seemed like they were rocking up at whatever time they felt like. Not even one patient stuck to their scheduled time slot. We were treating our 10:30 patient at 9:00, and our 9:00 patient at 11:30. It was weird. We didn't know if were running behind or early all day because we couldn't keep track. Anyways. With one patient, we were running behind with her. She rocked up early, we thought we'd push a few ambulance patients through (so the ambos would wait and the patient wouldn't have to hang around all day for them to pick them up). So by the time we got her into the room, it was 40 minutes past her appointment time. Not so bad, I won't let it happen again. We set her up. The most annoying patient set up ever. Partly due to the woman, and partly due to poor planning. Not much we can do about that now. We set her up, took us 10 minutes. We leave the room to turn the machine on and then the machine throws a fit because the position of the bed is 6mm outside its limit. Rachel and I throw a fit at the machine. We head back in to move her up the bed 6mm. We explain to the patient what we have to do due to the limitations of the machine. She replies "well maybe its nothing to do with the machine, maybe its the overworked workers". I ignored her. I really should have thrown a fit at her instead of the machine.

Anyways, knocked off early because I started at 7:00 in the morning. Went to use the bathroom. I stole a roll of toilet paper. I am turning into my father. Does anyone want a kidney dish?

peace.

so I'm outside in the sun, drinkng my tea while listening to joss stone. Love my days off. Liam is off at work, Imma is getting waxed and Peta is upstairs sleeping. Everything feels right at the moment.

Starting to feel stressed about job applications. My hospital advertised internally for grade 1 positions yesterday which is a wake up call for me to get my act together and put together an application. Read the most freaky horoscope last night; was directly related to my job situation. It said in the first 23 days of october a promotion or new job is likely; my interviews start on October 23rd. Freaky.

I think I'm stressing out more about what to wear, not so much about the interview. I really need to get my priorities straight...

You're welcome...

To Andrew

WITH SINCERE APPRECIATION

of your care and attention the last five weeks. I am sure with your kind bedside manner when you've [completed] your [internship] you will be in great demand.

[Patient]

One of my patients left me a card with that message, just for me, no one else got cards. The "you will be in great demand" bit sounds a bit dodgy, my colleagues were like "oh is she coming on to you!?"

where did they go?!

thursday, one of my patients finished treatment. she was a lovely lady. so chirpy and always up for a good laugh. she is a singer in a band, and still continues to do what she loves. She admitted that it was tough. As I walked her out of the room, I told her to look after herself. She hands me a box of chocolates and thanks me for everything.

I leave the chocolates on the bench and go talk to our nurses. They told me that the patient really appreciated everything I did and that I was lovely....

... I go back for some chocolate...

HALF OF THEM WERE EATEN!!!

together again.

family night in tonight. our family came together and had a little barbeque to celebrate the start of summer (spring?!?!).

it was great, we moved the dining table outside, liam and imma cooked, the rest of us just hung out outside. i really appreciate nights like these. good music and great company.

all together again at last... love it.

thank god its over.

The past weekend isn't worth blogging about.

Except, one thing, i was happy to be back in sydney.

such beautiful words

Me: I wonder where seagulls go to die...

Imma: Dead seagulls end up in the realm where dead humans hang while eating their dead fish and chips and feed the dead seagulls as they depart to the after life :)