sigh

so. i got a patient changed. she is a young paediatric doctor of some sort. really pretty. when i met her, my first impression was a strong, rational woman. i looked up to her. i think she is amazing. she is still working, taking time off work to make her 10 minute appointment with us.
i mentioned to her that her doctor had requested a plain film x-ray to verify her position. she asked why we weren't going to do it the normal way. i told her it was due to limitations of the machine and we couldn't see appropriate anatomy.

i walk away to do other stuff. i come back and notice she is already on the bed, crying. she thought her doctor was looking for something, like things had gone bad. it stirred emotions. for the first time i didn't see her as a doctor, i saw her as a patient. she seemed so vulnerable.

the moment of irrationality surprised me. but it shouldn't. i can't expect anyone going through what she is going through to maintain a level of rationality. i am glad i wasn't in the room with her. i would have lost it.

i still look up to her. she is still fucking amazing. her insight on medicine and children makes me reassess how i would approach my paediatric work.