sigh

difficult day today. understaffed, late staff and long meetings meant that i was a bit overworked. it was okay, i could handle it. it wasn't until the end of the day that i had enough.

he was a new patient, and today was his first day. I walk out to the waiting room and introduce myself. He replies with "how long does a man have to wait around here?" in one of those angry tones. I apologised for our tardiness, but we were only 10-20 mins late. As part of the first day chat we show the new patients our control station and explain how we can control the machine from outside and watch them at all times. He snapped at me saying he didn't care and just wanted to get on with things. I felt small.

I was working with my charge. We get the patient to lie on the bed and we set him up. He refuses to lie still, always moving his arms, making it even harder for us to get him in the right position. It didn't help that he was a large man. Halfway through we had a bit of trouble with the bed and had to slide him across. The bed was really high. I kind of hurt my shoulder.

We double check everything and then get started. Once we had finished our verification and before we got started wtih his treatment, he said he had to get off the bed because his back was cramping. I asked if he could wait 5 more minutes. He said he couldn't. So i called for my colleague and lowered the bed. He asked for help off the bed. I said I couldn't lift him up, but if he grabbed the side of the bed and lifted himself up we could assist from behind. He refused to comply and goes to grab me. I step back and he yells "just help me will you?". I sharply said I couldn't - I need to look after my back.

He eventually gets off the bed. It was then I realised that he wasn't a difficult patient. Well he was. But his difficult-ness stems from his anxiety. I told him the actual treatment will only take 5 minutes. We get him back on the bed and realised we set him up too far to the left of the bed. We had to slide him across again.

Once we finished, I had a chat to our nurses. Told them that the patient was a bit short-tempered, but was probably due to his anxiety and will probably need pain control for his back. The nurse came back after she chatted to the patient and told us he was just as difficult with her as he was with us. She mentioned that he does suffer from an anxiety disorder and normally takes ativan, but did not take it today. Like duh. You'd think that if you suffered from anxiety, and knew that you'd be going through a procedure for the first time you'd take your medication. Sometimes I wonder if I'm working against natural selection... no, i shouldn't be so cold and harsh. He apologised for his behaviour.

If I treat him tmrw I'll make sure he is treated on time, even if I have push him infront of other patients. Having him waiting won't help his anxiety. By the end of the week he should soften up though.