aaaaaaahhhhh!!!

okay. so. today has been so scattered.

I started work at 7 this morning for beam check. I just turn on the machine and warm it up and what not - make sure everything is working okay. So i get there early, just to be sure because its my first time doing the beam check on my own. I get there, try logging into the computer, the database is down. fuck. lol. its not the first time its happend, the 3 times i've done beam check with someone else we've had problems. funny that. i think i'm cursed. so anyways, i do all that i could. mostly the manual work. and eventually when the more senior staff got in, they managed to get everything working okay. so our day started off a bit rocky.

at 10:30 I had a bunch of prospective interns come in to take a tour of the department. i show them around, answer a few questions - was perhaps a bit too honest, but oh well. once that was done i went back to clinical work.

so. i'm supervising a student. i probably shouldn't be supervising since i'm technically not a real person at work - i'm supernumerary and still essentially training. but oh well. if my superiors feel confident in my work its all good. my student - nice girl, a tad bit slow. okay maybe not a tad, REALLY SLOW. we've gone through everything with her, quiz her on techniques, rationale, the basic stuff really. she still doesn't get it. shes enthusiastic and good with the patients but has no idea when it comes to the technical stuff. we try and get her involved in the treatment but all she does is just get in the way or take incredibly long. we thought we should get her involved with breast patients - simple technique, simple set up. it would normally take us 10 minutes to treat a breast patient, with her, it takes us 20-30 minutes. so shes chosen a breast patient for her procedure study. she performs the treatment and we assess how she does. she has been practicing on this one patient. unfortunately, today the patient asked us if it was okay if the student had no part in her treatment. and the thing is, she has chosen the easiest breast patient to do, all the others are harder to set up and are more complicated. sigh. i wonder how this girl is ever going to learn. shes enthusiastic, good with the patients, bit quiet - her heart is in the right place, just her brain isnt... oh thats too harsh.

the staff i work with think i'm doing a good job with her. i'm the most patient person with her, the rest just get annoyed and take over. i do try, but i'm not sure how much more i can take of it.