hmmz. my aunty sent this to me. don't know how old it is...
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Saturday, April 07, 2007
crash palace/the men's gallery/love machine
so i just got home from 16 hours of partying, 3 of which was spent in the cloak room being a cloak boy. the cloak room was much fun. hanging around suzy, adam and daniel was great fun.
the actual party was great, we all went and did our thing, but always gravitated back to the same spot at the same time. music was good. i was especially surprised i really enjoyed the trance room.
at the end of the party at 7pm we helped out with the cloak room again, just so everyone could
get their arses out of the joint.
headed back to daniels for some dinner, then headed to the afterparty. the crowd seemed a bit incongruent with the venue. think trashy. think love machine. i dont think love machine has ever opened their doors to so many shirtless boys wearing hotpants. at first the music was doing my head in. found myself bored and checking out hot chicks, while laughing with daniel at the puzzled chicks thinking "why are there so many topless guys? and why are they kissing?".
so the rest of the gang rocked up and the party got started. hot bartender. i kept on checking her out and i think she realised. whoops. had a random blonde girl say i looked like her cute doctor. same hair style and face. unfortunately my hairstyle wasn't intentional as lately i've been scrounging for cash. 6 hours later i was saying my goodbyes and we headed back to greville st.
all in all, an awesome day/night out spent with like-minded people...
the actual party was great, we all went and did our thing, but always gravitated back to the same spot at the same time. music was good. i was especially surprised i really enjoyed the trance room.
at the end of the party at 7pm we helped out with the cloak room again, just so everyone could
get their arses out of the joint.
headed back to daniels for some dinner, then headed to the afterparty. the crowd seemed a bit incongruent with the venue. think trashy. think love machine. i dont think love machine has ever opened their doors to so many shirtless boys wearing hotpants. at first the music was doing my head in. found myself bored and checking out hot chicks, while laughing with daniel at the puzzled chicks thinking "why are there so many topless guys? and why are they kissing?".
so the rest of the gang rocked up and the party got started. hot bartender. i kept on checking her out and i think she realised. whoops. had a random blonde girl say i looked like her cute doctor. same hair style and face. unfortunately my hairstyle wasn't intentional as lately i've been scrounging for cash. 6 hours later i was saying my goodbyes and we headed back to greville st.
all in all, an awesome day/night out spent with like-minded people...
Thursday, April 05, 2007
chaos
so i'm a day away from being homeless. in true andy style i find myself in a non-sensical situation. tmrw i'm going to crash palace. tmw is also the last day i have to move my crap out of my room. chaos is the first word that comes to mind.
i'm stressing because i don't know where to put my stuff. ive got way too much junk for a single gay man.
i wonder why i put myself through such hardship. its certainly not by choice, but i could have made things easier for myself. spending 2 weeks in a hotel in feb 2006 because i was absolutely homeless should have taught me a thing or two about homelessness and how not to do things, but yet again, i find myself searching the web for short term accomodation just in case. the only difference now is i can't afford it. i am grateful to my friends who have offered beds and love, but none of that lessens the feeling of displacement. and the sense of displacement is amplified by the fact my belongings are strewn across melbourne, with my kettle base in richmond, and the actual kettle in north melbourne, chongy in prahran and cook books hopefully (?) in north melbourne with the kettle. i was hoping to leave my skis in north fitzroy, but that didn't work out to plan.
so for the next two weeks i'll live out of suitcases, from door to door of friends houses offering them all the love and appreciation i can muster because that is what they deserve.
i'm stressing because i don't know where to put my stuff. ive got way too much junk for a single gay man.
i wonder why i put myself through such hardship. its certainly not by choice, but i could have made things easier for myself. spending 2 weeks in a hotel in feb 2006 because i was absolutely homeless should have taught me a thing or two about homelessness and how not to do things, but yet again, i find myself searching the web for short term accomodation just in case. the only difference now is i can't afford it. i am grateful to my friends who have offered beds and love, but none of that lessens the feeling of displacement. and the sense of displacement is amplified by the fact my belongings are strewn across melbourne, with my kettle base in richmond, and the actual kettle in north melbourne, chongy in prahran and cook books hopefully (?) in north melbourne with the kettle. i was hoping to leave my skis in north fitzroy, but that didn't work out to plan.
so for the next two weeks i'll live out of suitcases, from door to door of friends houses offering them all the love and appreciation i can muster because that is what they deserve.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
all's fair in love and war
i'm angry. angry at everyone for no particular reason. i just want to be angry. anger is the only emotion i can be sure of right now.
i don't know how i feel about him. i really don't. i'm glad hes around. i'm glad he wants to spend time with me. i don't know what he wants from me. i don't know what i want from him.
i don't know how i feel about him. i really don't. i'm glad hes around. i'm glad he wants to spend time with me. i don't know what he wants from me. i don't know what i want from him.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
crash
i read my horoscope today. i smiled. he read my horoscope. he pointed it out to me; "did you read it?". i smiled. cheers to mr cainer...
indian on chapel. the drinking on commercial. househunting on high. coffee in st kilda. then toast at greville st. toast for lunch on chapel. then toast for dinner in fitzroy. toast for breakfast again in collingwood. swedish meatballs in richmond and then fish for dinner in fitzroy.
tummy still sore from friday. i get sick when life gets tough.
watched crash last night. gripping in parts. close to tears in some, although that doesn't say much. i cried in open season. so between gripping the armrest and crying, i was running to the toilet. i have never felt so much discomfort since 2001. i much enjoyed watching the movie.
i miss her. i do feel a bit alone. but you know. i'm surrounded by people i love. i'll catch up with her soon. i promise.
ur good fun too.
indian on chapel. the drinking on commercial. househunting on high. coffee in st kilda. then toast at greville st. toast for lunch on chapel. then toast for dinner in fitzroy. toast for breakfast again in collingwood. swedish meatballs in richmond and then fish for dinner in fitzroy.
tummy still sore from friday. i get sick when life gets tough.
watched crash last night. gripping in parts. close to tears in some, although that doesn't say much. i cried in open season. so between gripping the armrest and crying, i was running to the toilet. i have never felt so much discomfort since 2001. i much enjoyed watching the movie.
i miss her. i do feel a bit alone. but you know. i'm surrounded by people i love. i'll catch up with her soon. i promise.
ur good fun too.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
insight
interesting day.
while waiting with a patient for a MRI i had a long chat with her about the healthcare system. it was interesting to hear it from her point of view. the time spent with her was good i think. she has always been an anxious lady. building that rapport is important. she enlightened me about how bureaucratic the billing system is in the private sector, sending forms to medicare, insurance companies and then cheques which go from medicare, to the insurance company, then to the patient and then back to the provider. all rather complex. perhaps its a scheme to confuse sick people so much that they forget they are sick.
earlier on today i found out a good friend of mine's grandmother was just diagnosed with cancer. i caught up with her over lunch and then after work. the chat was good. i hoped i helped. she helped me.
i read something today. my friend spoke of the same thing the other night. seems to be recurring. its about purpose, gifts (of love, gestures and thoughts) and reciprocation. everyone has a purpose, or a gift to give, and you usually get given what you give. today i gave all i could. now i feel empty and down.
and now i have nothing else to say.
while waiting with a patient for a MRI i had a long chat with her about the healthcare system. it was interesting to hear it from her point of view. the time spent with her was good i think. she has always been an anxious lady. building that rapport is important. she enlightened me about how bureaucratic the billing system is in the private sector, sending forms to medicare, insurance companies and then cheques which go from medicare, to the insurance company, then to the patient and then back to the provider. all rather complex. perhaps its a scheme to confuse sick people so much that they forget they are sick.
earlier on today i found out a good friend of mine's grandmother was just diagnosed with cancer. i caught up with her over lunch and then after work. the chat was good. i hoped i helped. she helped me.
i read something today. my friend spoke of the same thing the other night. seems to be recurring. its about purpose, gifts (of love, gestures and thoughts) and reciprocation. everyone has a purpose, or a gift to give, and you usually get given what you give. today i gave all i could. now i feel empty and down.
and now i have nothing else to say.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
away
i just got home.
weekend away. holiday from the norm. it was great. amazing food, great company and much needed rest.
for the first time since last weekend i felt really comfortable.
weekend away. holiday from the norm. it was great. amazing food, great company and much needed rest.
for the first time since last weekend i felt really comfortable.
Friday, March 16, 2007
struggling
i really am struggling at the moment. i have trouble waking up in the morning, sleeping at night, getting to work, and gettng my work done.
when i close my eyes i feel like crying.
right now everything seems a bit too much for me.
friends are supportive. from those who i expected help, nothing. those who i knew would be there, are there (always have been). and those whose help is totally unexpected, god bless.
when i close my eyes i feel like crying.
right now everything seems a bit too much for me.
friends are supportive. from those who i expected help, nothing. those who i knew would be there, are there (always have been). and those whose help is totally unexpected, god bless.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
get me outta here
so. last night. alone in this house with the other two housemates. it was hell. i felt alone. i'm the only one left on this side of the city. i spent my time online but no one else was.
i went to safeway to get some food for myself. pasta salad and coleslaw. my usual cant-be-fucked solution for dinner. came home and fell asleep.
shit day at work. glad its over.
went to look at a few properties, a couple in tribeca and one in prahran. the tribeca ones reminded me why i didn't move there in the first place. way too small and cramped. two bedroom apartments are only really suited for one person. the place in prahran was beautiful. old victorian house. freshly painted with huge rooms. huge backyard and two car parks. the owner lives next door and maintains the house himself. colour scheme is a bit off, but i can live with that. only problem is, its three bedrooms and too expensive for two people to rent.
sigh. i need to move out. spending time at greville st this evening made me realise i need to be around friends. i need to be across the river...or at least closer to my friends. tribeca's location is great, but still a bit far.
i went to safeway to get some food for myself. pasta salad and coleslaw. my usual cant-be-fucked solution for dinner. came home and fell asleep.
shit day at work. glad its over.
went to look at a few properties, a couple in tribeca and one in prahran. the tribeca ones reminded me why i didn't move there in the first place. way too small and cramped. two bedroom apartments are only really suited for one person. the place in prahran was beautiful. old victorian house. freshly painted with huge rooms. huge backyard and two car parks. the owner lives next door and maintains the house himself. colour scheme is a bit off, but i can live with that. only problem is, its three bedrooms and too expensive for two people to rent.
sigh. i need to move out. spending time at greville st this evening made me realise i need to be around friends. i need to be across the river...or at least closer to my friends. tribeca's location is great, but still a bit far.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
drained.
sydney. i don't smoke in sydney because if i do, i get a terrible sore throat. i stopped today. after one night of heavy smoking my throat can't handle it. even the smell of a cigarette makes me feel ill.
i'm heading out to dinner tonight with my sister and tony. its nice to be around family. this afternoon i spent by myself shopping and was much needed. time alone to think. thinking is what i need to do. so much has happened. i need to process all of it.
i'm heading out to dinner tonight with my sister and tony. its nice to be around family. this afternoon i spent by myself shopping and was much needed. time alone to think. thinking is what i need to do. so much has happened. i need to process all of it.
Monday, March 05, 2007
sydney
so like i'm drunk. third night in a row. rock on. i had the most amazing time tonight. went out to such a lovely dinner at billy kwong. and then headed home for a shower and then left for shift. shift was dodgy as. felt up by the wrong people. we left shortly after one drink and then headed to arq. hot. music was great. remixes of old songs, like pink floyd. hot. mashes of sexyback and put your hands up for detroit. totally fun....
off my tits now...
thanks scotty for a great time. shame you couldn't stay longer. but as long as you had fun. wait. as long as i had fun. which i did. *kiss*
and yet again, thank you for saving me from darkus' friend. shame you werent around to save me again when i left....
off my tits now...
thanks scotty for a great time. shame you couldn't stay longer. but as long as you had fun. wait. as long as i had fun. which i did. *kiss*
and yet again, thank you for saving me from darkus' friend. shame you werent around to save me again when i left....
Saturday, March 03, 2007
...and then theres me.
so. i stumble out of my bedroom with a sore arse. wasn't entirely sure why i had a sore arse or how it happened. found out from another friend that i fell into a coffee table. whoops.
ive find out that joseph is moving out. all good. so that pretty much means that everyone is leaving. the clean up will be a bitch. theres crap in cupboards that seem to have become permanent fixtures of the house and have no real owner.
i cant help but feel guilty because of whats happened. i move into the house and the house turns to shit. nothing seems to get done, dishes seem to pile up, the bathroom gets messier and messier. and it puzzles me at how messy it gets. no one really cooks (or eats) and dishes pile up. no one is home to use the bathroom but there are always discarded razors, dental floss and hair all over the bench. when its clean, i try to keep it clean by wiping down the bench after i use it but somehow it just gets so dirty overnight that i can't be bothered when i use the bathroom. sigh.
ive find out that joseph is moving out. all good. so that pretty much means that everyone is leaving. the clean up will be a bitch. theres crap in cupboards that seem to have become permanent fixtures of the house and have no real owner.
i cant help but feel guilty because of whats happened. i move into the house and the house turns to shit. nothing seems to get done, dishes seem to pile up, the bathroom gets messier and messier. and it puzzles me at how messy it gets. no one really cooks (or eats) and dishes pile up. no one is home to use the bathroom but there are always discarded razors, dental floss and hair all over the bench. when its clean, i try to keep it clean by wiping down the bench after i use it but somehow it just gets so dirty overnight that i can't be bothered when i use the bathroom. sigh.
so drunk right no
so im so very drunk. started drinknig at 5:35ish at 'wine and cheese' night at work. great. it was fun. i had fun. fun is good. then i met up with jay jay and stella. wetn to eve. so much fun. it was hilarious. danced my fat arse off. hopefully it'll be less fat tmrw. yay. booked tickets to sydney. so very excited. need to get out of this shit hole. love it though. will be back on wednesday. love it. yay sydney. yay sister. yay brother. woohoo. drunk the world is spinning. i forsee a hangover tmrw. yay. no not yayh.
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