8/10

so my boss recently asked me to rate my job.

i told her i'd give it an 8/10.

she was gobsmacked. she was under the impression that i hated my job.

i convinced her that i didn't.

i forgot to tell her that im frustrated. seems like im sitting idle, just a button pusher, working the frontline while my colleagues get to pursue their careers. opportunities have come up, yet my boss will give those opportunities to everyone but me, even giving some people multiple roles and responsibilities. then theres me. nothing. makes me wonder how secure my contract is... train up the boys and girls who she wants to keep, and let me just fill in until my contract expires. great. go me.

ask me to rate my job again, i wouldn't give it an 8...

all's fair in love and war

i'm angry. angry at everyone for no particular reason. i just want to be angry. anger is the only emotion i can be sure of right now.

i don't know how i feel about him. i really don't. i'm glad hes around. i'm glad he wants to spend time with me. i don't know what he wants from me. i don't know what i want from him.

struggling

i really am struggling at the moment. i have trouble waking up in the morning, sleeping at night, getting to work, and gettng my work done.

when i close my eyes i feel like crying.

right now everything seems a bit too much for me.

friends are supportive. from those who i expected help, nothing. those who i knew would be there, are there (always have been). and those whose help is totally unexpected, god bless.