reading my friend's blog made me feel nostalgic.
i'm home alone in a house i don't like, with no hot water and seriously 1 toilet roll between 2 bathrooms. i'm mozzie bitten from head to toe. hungry because all i've eaten is a bit of fruit, small take away lunch and a summer roll and yet to have dinner. i am seriously not happy at the moment.
i look back on my life and i think of the people who have come and gone in my life and i wonder whats next. who will i say goodbye to? and when i say goodbye, all i have are the memories of what we had. i look back on those memories and i chuckle, smile and have a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside. when the fuzzy feeling subsides i hate myself for saying goodbye.
sigh.
there is a pattern. and i desperately want to change it. i don't like goodbyes.
i miss you. the late night chats on msn or in person, the mi-goreng dinners, cafes all over melbourne, waking you up in the morning, the computer games (how geeky), late night fast food, just hanging out, the crazy driving expeditions. it was fun. i miss it, badly. i was hurt by you, but i think i hurt you more.
4 comments:
whoa, that's a blast from the past.
do you still hear from him?
last i heard he'd fallen for some guy in canada. some people never learn...
amsterdam...
i don't hear from him.
good byes are hard... i hate them also. i hate them so much that i take forever to get around to them. by then they have festered, and there is less to salvage from what i hate to give up.
good byes are a relief.
yeah. they are hard.
my goodbyes are simple. i turn my back on my friend, they turn theirs. nothing is said, or done, it just happens.
whats sad is when i turn around, and realise its all too late.
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